Self-Compassion
Most people would agree that they want to achieve high self-esteem, yet few recognize the power of self-compassion in doing so. According to the pioneering work of Kristin Neff, self-compassion offers the benefits of self-esteem without the pitfalls – narcissism, comparison, judgment, and aggression. It also offers us a far more stable self-concept. When we fail, self-esteem abandons us. Self-compassion comforts us. But it does far more than just this.
Many individuals fear that extending self-compassion towards themselves will result in decreased drive, accountability, and success. Research has shown that the exact opposite is true. Self-compassion encourages self-improvement from a place of love, rather than self-punishment. It plays a vital role in nurturing and strengthening self-esteem, motivation, resilience, risk taking, creativity, and connection. It is self-criticism that undermines our ability to perform.
So what is self-compassion?
It’s the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness, care, and understanding that you would offer to a friend in times of suffering or hardship. It involves three essential components:
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Self-kindness: Being gentle and understanding with yourself. You need (and deserve!) this more when you are suffering, not less.
- Common humanity: Imperfection is the one shared human experience. It is the feeling of abnormality that results in our separation from others. When you can recognize your common humanity, you realize that you are not alone in your struggles.
- Mindfulness: Maintaining a balanced awareness of your thoughts and feelings – neither suppressing nor ruminating on them.
To deepen this practice, we here at Meridian Counseling invite you to utilize this self-compassion offering below, led by Kristin Neff.
